


Courage of Despair

by BabygirlandFin



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 23:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5183936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabygirlandFin/pseuds/BabygirlandFin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What could have happened if Calvin was taken away from Olivia?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Courage of Despair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unicornball](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicornball/gifts).



_Disclaimer: All characters and basic concepts used in this story are the property of their respective owners._

_I don't own nothing_

_They are used solely and only for entertainment purposes. A copyright infringement is not intended or implied._

_Credit - a special thanks goes to - pink chocolate unicorn without you it would not have been possible. Thanks you that you always stand behind me._

  
  


**Courage of Despair**

  
  


  
  


Olivia did not know what was happening to her. Calvin looked at her, confused. The boy didn't understand.

Calvin's real mother was holding his hands. She holds him firmly—so he couldn’t get the idea to run back to Olivia.

Elliot slid his arms around Olivia's waist and he held her close. Olivia did not notice, too focused on Calvin.

"Calvin," Olivia said and stretched her arms out.

The boy was torn; his real mother stood next to him. But it was much nicer with Olivia. However, Olivia wasn’t his biological mother. He felt as if she would be better at it.

Olivia doing something differently. She loved him as her son. He _was_ her son.

"Olivia." Calvin said as he stretched his arms, too. Both of them has tears in their eyes. Suddenly he pulled away and ran to Olivia.

She opened her arms for him and they embraced the other tightly.

The blonde woman looked angrily at Olivia. "Let my son go. You don't have custody any longer." She held the form under Olivia's nose and grabbed for Calvin's hand. But he held Olivia close, turning his face away.

Olivia stroked his back soothingly. "It's okay, Calvin. I will do everything in my power so that you can stay again with me," she said, trying to calm her son.

He looked up to her with tears in his eyes. "Are you really sure?"

Olivia nodded and ran her fingers through his hair.

Elliot looked on, watching everything that was happening in front of him. He was sad and blinked harshy to rid himself of the tears trying to form in his eyes. Carefully, he knelt down to Calvin.  
"Hey, Buddy,“ he said, offering a small smile. “Believe me, Olivia is doing everything she can for you."

Olivia smiled gratefully at Elliot.

Calvin leaned back a little and cocked his head curiously, “Elliot, are you sure?"

Elliot nodded vigorously.

The boy smiled as a sign that he understood. "Thanks," he whispered. He looked up at Olivia. "I miss you already. I love you."

With red eyes, Olivia tried to smile. "Love you too, Calvin."

Olivia watched after him as he left and felt numb. She turned to Elliot and he saw it. Olivia had lost the child, their child—all she ever wanted to have. "Elliot..." she whispered, her voice breaking as he pulled her into his arms.

 

Elliot held her, hushing her softly as he rubbed soothing circles on her back. “Liv, everything will be fine, trust me." He continued to stroke her back soothingly.

Even if it wasn't exactly the right time, Olivia still enjoyed being held in his arms. Everything had changed... Nothing would be the same, she thought. Olivia did not want to be alone.

"Can you come with..." she started to ask but trailed off, her voice failing her.

Elliot looked at her in disbelief. Had he heard her right? "Shall I come with you to your home?"

Olivia looked up at him carefully "I don't want to be alone..."

"No problem, Liv" he said, packing his things. "Let’s go."

Olivia was speechless and could only nod at him.

  
  


Xxxx

  
  


Olivia closed the door behind her, went directly into the living room and sat down on the sofa. Her eyes were still moist as she looked around the room

"It all seems so empty..." she murmured to herself as the tears began to run down her cheeks once again.

Elliot sat down right next to her and pulled her into his arms. Olivia sobbed, not caring at all that he could see her looking so 'weak'. She'd always played the strong and confident woman before, trying to appear hard-hitting and bad ass, but at this moment she felt helpless and needed him to hold her.

Hours passed and he still had his arms around her, only now he was half on top of her and almost asleep. She started moving her hands up and down his back. "Thank you for being here for me" she whispered softly in his ear, waking him up and causing him to get goose bumps all over.

He tightened his arms around her waist and she sighed as she carefully lifted her head so that she could look him straight in the eye.

Slowly, they leaned in towards the other, their faces getting closer, until finally their lips met. They kissed, but only for a few secondes before Olivia pulled her back and looked at Elliot.

"Are you sure you want this?“ she asked softly. “I mean, think of your wife and children ..." she said, suddenly stopping to look at him.

Elliot smiled at her. "Believe me, I know exactly what I want!" He leaned in again and kissed her again, their lips barely meeting when she opened her mouth, sighed and allowed his tongue to sweep in.

Their tongues met in a wild duel and their emotions ran high, so high that Elliot took her in his arms and led her to the bedroom.

In her mind's eye she saw the images she'd imagined for years and the smile on her face looked contented as he led down on the bed and he knelt down beside her.

He immediately pulled her back into his arms and kissed her, his hands moving along her body—

A slight vibration in her pocket followed by a louder ringing ruined the moment and stopped him doing what he'd intended. He leaned back so Olivia could reach her cell.

Olivia awkwardly took out her cell and even though Elliot grabbed at it, she reluctantly muttered "Sorry El,“ to him before putting the phone to her mouth properly. “Um...hello?"

"Hello Olivia,“ Fin greeted. “I thought we were going to the movies with Calvin?" he asked, feeling a little disappointed as he realised she must have forgotten.

Olivia tried to think quickly, what was best to say? However, her mouth was faster than her brain and before she could think of something to comfort Fin, she said "I'm sorry, but I'm a little busy right now... Can we do it another day?"

Mischievous, Olivia grinned at Elliot and even though she felt guilty, she was also rather happy about the situation she found herself in.

"That's rather annoying Liv,“ Fin said with an annoyed huff. “I bought the tickets in advance," he added, feeling very let down.

"I'm really sorry, Fin,“ Olivia said. “But I'll pay for the tickets only—Well, now is a really bad time and, unfortunately I don't have custody of Calvin anymore."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Liv, what happened?" Fin asked, sympathetically.

"I'll explain it all to you tomorrow; I'd prefer to be alone right now," she said. Fin was disappointed, but he understood, said goodbye and hung up.

 

She turned to Elliot. "Where were we?" Olivia said, as he grinned and continued cuddling her. Liv groaned and snuggled up to him running her hands under his T-shirt. They both gave in to their feelings and Olivia gave herself to him freely.

He knew exactly what he was doing, even if he'd been with another woman, he knew what it took to please Olivia and he used it skilfully. Olivia liked what he did very much enjoying it to its fullest for most of the night.

  
  


xxxx

  
  


Satisfied, and a bit sleepy, Olivia woke up the following morning and saw Elliot laying next to her. At first she thought it was a dream but he was still holding her in his arms. Slowly, he opened his eyes, so happy that what he'd yearned to do for so long had finally happened. It was indescribable he thought, as he smiled at her. The fact was it also seemed to him quite unreal that this absolute dream of a woman was lying next to him. He held her tightly and pulled her closer to him.

She sighed as she felt something hard on her butt and turned around to face him "Good morning," she said, smiling at him. His grin grew wider.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked continuing to grin. Again and again he thought about last night. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so happy to have a woman next to him.

He was, of course married, but his wife could no longer give him what he craved so much; love, happiness and security. For a long time, he'd secretly dreamed that he and Olivia would get together, but now it was happening he started to feel afraid that she might regret it.

His facial expression changed and Olivia immediately noticed it.

"What's going on?" Olivia asked, worried about what he might say.

"I'm afraid that you might regret what we did last," he admitted, looking deeply into her eyes.

Olivia blinked, stunned. "Do you seriously think I regret last night?" she asked, noticing his smile no longer seemed so soft. She pulled him close and gently kissed him again and again.

Joyfully, he realised then that this really could be a whole new beginning, a beginning that, not long ago, he could hardly believe could happen.

She took his face in her hands, cradling him gently. "This could be a new start for us... but do _you_ really want it? What about your wife and children?" she asked, almost reading his mind; which really scared her. He couldn't completely hide his feelings, especially for his wife, he thought, as Olivia looked at him expectantly. "I'm afraid of your reaction, Elliot," she said, suddenly feeling him pulling her into his arms.

"You have absolutely no reason to be afraid" he said, "So calm down!"

"Are you really sure?" she asked, still having so many doubts about what he said. Could he really be more than just a friend and partner? How long had she wanted to be held by him? She had so many concerns about how it might turn out between them if they continued, but shouldn't she just take advantage of every opportunity that presented itself?

Her answer was 'yes', but what if it did not work out between them? He was her best friend and partner and they could always rely on each other, no matter what happened. Olivia looked at him again, "What's going to happen when things go wrong?" she asked.

He looked deeply into her eyes, "Liv, I cannot promise that it will last forever, I can only say that even if we do go our separate ways one day, you will never lose me as a friend."

Now that he had promised that she felt more confident and began to smile at him.

The next moment her lips were on his again and they kissed passionately, never wanting to part. Then, just like the evening before, her phone rang, only this time Elliot pulled it away "Next time, please leave your mobile phone somewhere else! It spoilt the moment!"

Grinning and looking a little sheepish, she took her cell phone back and then saw on the screen that the call was from the youth welfare office. Feeling a little nervous she pressed the answer button.

"Benson, what is it, has something happened to Calvin!?"

There was a brief silence before the employee said in a tone of voice that made her think something was wrong. "Calvin's sitting next to me, I'm sorry to have to say this but his mother is once again addicted to drugs and alcohol; I guess my judgment was wrong. His grandparents cannot care for him but they didn't want to tear him away from his usual environment. I think it's important now that we talk again about custody. Calvin would really like to live with you."

"Oh...“ Olivia said slowly, processing the words. “When and where shall we meet?" she asked. She was sad about Calvin's mother but glad he wanted to live with her.

Summers was pleased by her reaction, as not 12 hour had passed since he'd taken the boy back to his mother who, once again, claimed she wanted to do her duty.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to bring Calvin to you in half an hour, after all that's his usual environment, if you know what I mean."

Olivia's face simply glowed when Elliot said "I'm really looking forward to seeing the little one but will the boy be with you permanently now, or will he be taken away again later on?"

"Summers, from Social Services, said he doesn't want to expose Calvin to anymore trauma and when they visit me they will bring all of the papers so that I can take over custody of him. The Court will then withdraw custody from his biological mother. If all goes well, you and I could legally adopt him. Calvin needs a real home and I'm sure he will have one with me and you, even though we're not married, Summers thinks that will be okay."

Olivia looked at Elliot and he winked at her suggestively, but all they really had on their minds was what had been said on the phone.

"You could literally sense Summers's smile over the phone!" Olivia said, feeling so happy. “When Calvin gets here, we can discuss everything with him. I'm overjoyed, I'm getting my boy back!" she beamed.

Elliot was genuinely happy about it as he smiled at Olivia. "I told you it would all come right again!"

"Only it's even better now as I'm with you!" Olivia he said, smiling widely, as she leaned forward to kiss him and them jumped up to take a shower. She showered very quickly so that Elliot could take one after her and then prepared some coffee.

Just as it was ready the door bell rang.

She was so excited she felt like a kid at Christmas! She opened the door and immediately wrapped her arms around the child, feeling so happy as he hugged her back.

"I told you you'd soon be back with me, didn't I!" she said, looking at the little boy, who nodded.

Elliot came out of the bathroom and stood there with a big grin on his face. The boy broke away from Olivia and ran towards him, jumping into his arms.

Olivia asked Summers to come into the kitchen. "Please sit down," she said, gesturing to a chair. "We can talk while we finish our coffee."

Before Summers sat down, he took out some papers from his pocket. "I've brought the documentation so that we can prepare the final adoption" he said, showing Olivia the paperwork. He'd brought everything remembering how disappointed Olivia had been over the loss of the boy and how Calvin too was so unhappy to have been separated from Olivia.

"Okay" was all she said as she sat down at the table. Elliot shuffled into the kitchen and took the coffee cups from the cupboard, setting the table with milk and sugar. Calvin sat close to Olivia and she wrapped her arms around the boy, feeling he really was just like a son.

Summers then began to explain things to her and again and again Olivia nodded. The fact was, she didn't care what he said as all that was important to her was that she had Calvin. Looking at Calvin Summers said "You have to decide now if you want to stay here permanently." Calvin nodded excitedly. Summers nodded back, pleased. "If you want, you can type into my laptop the name of your new mom," he offered.

Calvin looked surprised. "Really! Can I?" When he saw Summers nod, he looked at Olivia "Would you like me to stay with you?"

Olivia smiled at him kindly "That's your decision sweetheart."

"Then I will" he said, smiling proudly as he typed in Olivia's name.

Elliot watched him and then gave Olivia a kiss on the cheek "You see, your greatest wish has come true!" he said.

Olivia shook her head, smiling, "No, my two biggest wishes came true!" she corrected him, smiling at him and kissing him back.

  
  


**The End**


End file.
